British assult on Iraqi Headquaters

A very shaken Iraqi security guard on promise of anonymity (Kaleem Jabbar number 2342947) told us the ordeal that he and his colleagues had to face when the British army attacked.

A little background
The British army has been in Iraq for the longest time. They were part of the coalition (along with Armenia Estonia and Moldova amongst many others) which attacked Iraq. The Army is on the verge of breaking. The British soldiers haven't faced this much stress since the great British shortage of Tea biscuits. The British soldier is probably the most difficult to convince into battle. A steady supply of tea and biscuits during the day and warm beer with bland food at night is the minimum requirement. The customary greeting of removing or lowering the hat resulted in the most deaths. This led to the army taking drastic measures. They installed little sensors on the helmets that would send a huge shock to the knees and making the soldier fall to the ground.

Back to Mr. Jabbar our secret source in the Iraqi Police (please don’t tell anyone).

"The army men were hysterical”, Jabbar
"They entered the police station and ordered 10 bagels take away",
When we told them we dint have any they got pissed of and blew up our nice police station.
He told me that they offered them their food. But it seems that the British soldier still insisted on bagels and tea. The British then demanded to speak to their manager. The chief inspector tried to defuse the situation. But a very irate British soldier then drove the tank right through the wall.

All Iraqi police stations are now required by law to keep bagels and tea. And not just any bagels, the bagels that melt in your mouth. The Iraqi government has decided to send their top cops to a London to learn how to cook bagels.

"We are looking for weapons of mass destruction", British soldier

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